My mad blog lib

I saw the formula for this on ktbuffys blog. thought about it for a couple days then said what the heck, I'm crazy, may as well prove it. So, here goes...

Sam Fields is a Lovecraftian artist and poet with an intuitive appetite favoring kaleioscopies, a fusion of gesture and words, the groggy map of the porcupine, the evolution of an illistration or a poem, the exquisitely solopsistical archetypel leap into the inconvienient.

A graduate of the Sylverster Alphonse School of Art, Mars, Sam has flickered in one man shows, constitutionals, and juried group seances, authored Gregorian hymnals, and euclidian non-fiction, published articles and essays. Snoring and writing procedural business articles are currently his main artistic focus.

Some days..pt.1

I work as a security guard at a large clothing distribution center. I deal with semi-drivers 8 hours a day, 4 days a week. (Working a Saturday is almost a mini-paid vacation.) I had a driver come to the security sign-in window on thursday evening, who spoke no english. I on the other hand, speak no Ukrainian. It was hilarious as we played charades for 10 minutes, him trying to tell me who he drove for, and me asking him to let me see the paperwork he was holding so I could just look for the proper authorization to pick up the shipment he was there for.

I finally got the phone number of the company he drove for, and spoke with his dispatcher, who gave me the info, then explained to the driver what was needed and where to park. As the driver left after being loaded, he shook my hand and said the one word I understood..."Tovarich"..."Friend".

Best. Work. Day. Ever.

S.

T-shirt sayings..

I like to read the sayings on T-shirts. While I don't -own- many wordy articles of cottony print-dom, I have got a list of sayings somewhere, that I will share here when I find it. I will start this off with something I picked up at Origins 2004. (shirt is from Pandahead.com.)

GM'S DON'T KILL CHARACTERS; dragons, goblins, orcs, half-orcs, quarter orcs, three-quarter orcs, obsessed alfar, dryads, packs of wolves, giant spiders, werewolves, killer rabbits, norse gods, carnivoous plants, mutant insects, wood nymphs, skeletons, zombies, vampires, really mean bears, sharks with legs, fire elementals, water elementals, air elementals, earth elementals, other elementals, yeti, mages with bad attitudes, animated dolls, animated weapons, animated rocking chairs, shadows, shades, ghasts, ghosts, ghouls, gopher turtles, basilisk, cockatrice, gorgon, mad cows, perytons, winter wolves, fire giants, frost giants, storm giants, gossamer, krakens, leprechauns, opera singers, disgruntled ex's, wyverns, gnolls, hobgoblins, horribly nasty traps, rocs, green slime, red slime, blue slime, rainbow slime, sewer gators, gut punching aliens, nightmares, lawyers, giant snakes, giant leeches, el chupacabra, owl bears, giant rats, kobolds, sandanistas, cowboys, indians, dire wolves, giant roosters, trolls, really mean brownies, selkie, night hags, sea hags, old hags, grotesquely mutated worms, just about anything with the word "giant" in front of it, unicorns on a bad day, rakshasa, griffins, hippogriffs, besoch, hell hounds, djinni, guys with really pretentious names like Mordo the Black, Overmaster of the Universe, and other PC's....KILL CHARACTERS

Excerpts from.."50 ways to confuse a roommate."

I found an old E-mail with the following ideas in it, and thought I'd share. I've done the one with the Tarantula, except in my case I was pet-sitting a friends snake for 4 days.....

1. Insist that you are a vegan, and protest anytime your roomie eats meat. Start leaving "slim Jim" wrappers laying around, and hold your stomach everytime they walk into the room. If they ask about the wrappers, you know nothing about them.

2. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a half-dozen donuts every night.

3. Every time you wake up, start yelling "Oh my God, where am I?!?" and run around the room for a couple minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.

4. Keep a tarantula in a jar for a few days, then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, it's around here somewhere."

5. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When they walk in, sit on the floor, hold your head and moan.

6. Wear a cape and stand in front of an open window for an hour every day. Then, one day while the roomie is out, go outside and lie under the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roomie to return. The next day, stand in front of the open window again.

7. Throw darts at a blank wall. All of a sudden, start dancing around excitedly and tell your rommmate you just hit the bull's eye.

8. Practice needlepoint every night. At some point, grab your thumb and sream, "Oowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, then go to bed. Sob and sniffle all night.

9.Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."

10. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor, and kick it. Refuse to clean it up right away, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

I thought I would start this new year out by doing something new to me. I have never tried to have a web-site or a LiveJournal, or a Blog, until now. Hopefully I won't crash this superhighway of electronics known as the internet into a burning wreck.

Sam.